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Welcome to the Husband Material podcast, where we help Christian men outgrow porn. Why? So you can change your brain, heal your heart and save your relationship. My name is Drew Boa and I'm here to show you how let's go. Today, we are talking about my favorite activity, running, because running is one of the main reasons why I've been able to stay free from porn for the past 10 years. And, by the way, everything I say in this episode about running also applies to walking, especially fast walking, and you're going to hear how I got into running 20 ways running or walking can revolutionize your sexual recovery, and how you can get into it with the Husband Material Running Club. First, how did I get into this man?

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I never liked running when I was a kid. I thought it was boring. Of course, it was exhausting and it felt like a burden when a cross-country coach was telling me exactly what I should do every time I go running. So I thought I hated running, but the truth is, I hated the version of running that I had to do in PE class and on the cross-country team. Everything changed in my senior year of high school, during basketball season, when a member of my own basketball team threw me against a wall and broke my hand In order to stay in shape. While I couldn't play basketball, I ran Without a coach telling me what to do, without a track forcing me to go in circles and circles. I started exploring my neighborhood. I didn't have rules and requirements for how long or how fast I would go. I did it my way and I discovered that I actually love running, and I wonder how many of you might learn to love it if you found a version of running or walking that works for you Now.

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Running is an essential part of my life. It is one of the most powerful practices I have found for outgrowing porn, and I'm going to tell you 20 reasons why. Now, a lot of these ways that running can revolutionize your recovery are not unique to this activity. The unique part is that running or walking does them all at once. There are lots of different healthy habits for sexual recovery, but in this one habit of running or walking at a decent pace, you can get 20 or more really helpful benefits just by doing this one thing. So it is a high impact activity. It is very efficient, it is very effective, especially if you start getting a routine of running.

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I want to tell you about 20 ways running can revolutionize your sexual recovery. You ready, here we go. Number one regulation. Why does porn have so much power over us? Because it's a regulator. It helps to regulate our autonomic nervous system. In other words, when you feel angry, agitated, anxious or sexually aroused, porn calms you down. When you feel numb, zoned out, dead inside, empty and hollow, porn wakes you up. It's kind of like a thermostat in your house. When your emotional temperature is too hot or too cold, porn serves the function of bringing you back into balance. And guess what? Running does the same thing in so many ways.

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One of the primary ways that running provides regulation to your brain and body is through, number two, breathing. Running automatically deepens your breathing. Many of you know this. Right, you're, running forces you to breathe more. You have to flood your brain with oxygen in order to run, and even in order to walk at a fast pace, your breathing will deepen, your lungs will fill up, and this is so helpful. It plugs your prefrontal cortex back in. It increases your capacity to make decisions you can be proud of. So, even just by running, first of all, you're getting deeper breathing.

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And also, number three, you're getting mindfulness, because, in order to run or walk, you have to have a sensory awareness of your surroundings. Running engages your senses sight, sound, touch and, as a result, it keeps you in the present moment. You know when I'm running I notice the leaves on the trees, I see the clouds in the sky, I'm paying attention to the weather, I see passing cars, I see people going by. All of that is mindfulness. And guess what? One of the best ways to prevent relapse that has been proven by research is mindfulness. Breathing and mindfulness go together, and when you run, you automatically do both. It's remarkable when I teach clients how to efficiently and effectively prevent relapse. Breathing and mindful observation are two of the major pieces.

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The fourth benefit of running that I want to talk about is embodiment. Most of us inhabit an increasingly digital, disembodied daily existence. We're on screens all the time, at work, even at home, and so we live so much of our lives disembodied up in our heads. Running helps you get out of your head and into your body, away from screens. Going for a run or a walk can get you out of the house if you've been cooped up all day at home or if you've been slaving away in an office, and even if you run at a gym, you're still getting out of the house, which is helpful.

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Benefit number five to running is bilateral stimulation. When you walk or when you run, you are using both feet. You are stimulating both sides of your body and brain. Feet. You are stimulating both sides of your body and brain. Many of you are aware of EMDR, or brain spotting, which uses the power of bilateral stimulation to help create coherence and bring balance to your nervous system. Well, I have good news for you you can harness the power of bilateral stimulation even without trauma therapy through something as simple as going for a walk or a run. Again, running is not the only way to do bilateral stimulation, but it's really cool that you do it automatically in addition to all these other things Like.

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Number six, running releases energy. If you are experiencing intense emotions, post-traumatic stress or overwhelming sexual arousal and your energy needs a place to go, let it out through your feet, let it out through your lungs. The breathing, mindfulness, embodiment and bilateral stimulation of running all combine to give what's inside of you a different outlet than an orgasm. Sometimes, a relapse seems inevitable when you don't perceive any other outlet for what you're feeling in your body than an orgasm. Running gives you another release and, especially if you run for longer than 30 minutes, you're putting yourself in a really good position to prevent relapse, because research indicates that if you don't resist a sexual urge and you let it come and let it pass, usually it won't last more than 30 minutes. So if you can get out and run for 30 minutes or more, you can probably weather the storm of whatever trigger tornado you're going through.

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The seventh reason why I love running and why it's so great for sexual recovery is that it gives me space and time to reflect. Similar to journaling, it creates a space for me to digest whatever experiences I need to process. When I don't know how I'm feeling, sometimes when I go for a run I get clarity. And not only that, I get to think about it, I get to really feel it. It's an opportunity to feel whatever I need to feel and to think about whatever I need to think about Like a blank page. A run is a great opportunity for reflection and emotional processing instead of sexualizing our emotions through porn.

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The eighth way that running can revolutionize your sexual recovery is through solitude and community. For me, going for a run or a walk can be a way to recharge. It can be a really helpful introvert time where I'm engaging in solitude without isolation. On the other hand, if I go for a run or a walk with a friend, we can have longer, better, deeper conversations. Compare this to pickleball. I love pickleball, but, man, a conversation in pickleball is going to stay at the surface level. You might be able to talk to somebody for five or ten minutes, but if you go for a long walk or run, you can have a conversation that lasts two hours and it feels like it flew by. And having a friend or a group to go running with can really boost your motivation and make the run go by more quickly, especially if you take advantage of point number nine experiences in nature.

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Running is one of the best ways to get into nature, to go into green spaces, open spaces, forests, mountains, deserts, even prairies. When I lived in Wheaton, illinois, in the upper Midwest of the United States, my favorite place to run was the Prairie Path. For some people it wasn't much, but for me it was so life-giving. Even though the Prairie Path was just a slice of forest in the middle of sprawling suburbs, to me it felt like a different world. So even if you live in a big city, you can find pockets of nature in parks or maybe just a place with a great view to overlook the city.

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Nature promotes mental health. Nature absorbs trauma, and one of the best ways to allow yourself to experience it is to go for a walk or run through it. And as you do so, you will probably experience number 10, seeing beauty. Guys, if you're outgrowing porn, you need to learn how to see beauty without possessing it or controlling it. Lust sees beauty and wants to consume it. Love sees beauty and honors it and treasures it and respects it. Running or walking in a beautiful natural space gives you a chance to see something beautiful without needing to possess it or control it. You're simply letting it come and letting it go as you go, with the flow of your run or walk, and as you do so, I often find number 11, adventure and novelty.

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As an Enneagram type 7 and someone who has an addictive personality, I often want to push boundaries and seek out the unknown, and running gives me a healthy way to do that. I love exploring every street in my neighborhood, discovering the hidden gems, going out to the trails and finding places I've never seen before, and that's way better for my brain than scrolling on my phone and trying to see what's new out there in the world on a little screen, versus immersing myself in an environment that's new and different. Running is not about consuming, it's about connecting. And also point number 12, it can spark creativity. Running, or walking or hiking, can put you into a flow state where new ideas emerge spontaneously. And if you've never heard the term flow state before, go look it up. It's one of the secrets to unlocking creativity and productivity. And, frankly, many of my best ideas for husband material or for this podcast have come while I'm out on a run. No surprise, sometimes if I've been struggling with something or wrestling with a problem in my head for a long time.

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If I go outside for a walk or a run, sometimes it becomes clear Often I experience number 13,. Often I experience number 13, spiritual depth. Running allows me to just be with God, no words necessary, just like being with an old friend, where you don't have to say anything. You can just be together, comfortably, in peace, knowing each other. And if your relationship with God has been primarily intellectual, it can be so helpful to have a spiritual practice that engages your body like this, a benefit that many of you might be interested in is number 14, better sleep.

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For my birthday this year, I took six friends to the Manitou Incline, my favorite hike here in Colorado Springs. I'm actually wearing my Manitou Incline hat while recording this. The Manitou Incline climbs 2,000 vertical feet in one horizontal mile. It is composed of 2,768 steps. In other words, it's a great workout with a great view. It's my favorite place to go. So my friends came with me and one of them has been having sleep troubles. He hasn't been able to sleep for a long time and he told me that after he hiked the incline with me, he slept better that night than he has all year. If you want better sleep, cardiovascular exercise, especially through walking or running, can be a game changer. It can also change.

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Number 15, your appetite, if you want space to enjoy more food or to feel better after eating a big meal. The more you walk or run, the more calories you burn, the more food you need to eat and the more food you get to enjoy. As a result, I think running can really improve your relationship with food and with your body in general. Which leads me to number 16. More self-confidence If you go for a run, no matter how far you went or how fast you ran. It's something you can feel proud of. It's a redemptive risk and no matter what the outcome is going for, a run is worth celebrating Along the way. You might experience number 17, endorphins and dopamine. You may experience what is often called a runner's high. Some of you have never experienced this and you've said running is never enjoyable. I've never felt a runner's high. You probably won't experience that at first, but as you get used to it, if you turn it into a routine, eventually your brain and body might start to really like it, and when that happens, you experience number 18, delayed gratification.

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Now, this is so important for any type of addiction recovery, including porn and sex addiction. Running can help to reset your brain's reward system so that you're not getting the immediate gratification of porn or masturbating. You're getting the delayed gratification, which is more of what our brains were designed to experience, where you put in work and something's difficult and you get rewarded on the other side of it. And the more we choose delayed gratification instead of immediate gratification, we start to appreciate the process. We start to enjoy the journey, not just the end. And that's so important because in order to outgrow porn, we need to become more comfortable being uncomfortable. We need to become more tolerant of feelings that feel intolerable, and running is a great way to practice that. Sometimes it's tough, sometimes we want to stop, sometimes it hurts. Running helps us to be present to that and to push through it and keep going. And, of course, there's an unhealthy way that we might force ourselves to run a certain distance or to run a certain speed. But what I'm advocating for here is slow, steady growth and getting out of your comfort zone and running a little farther every time or a little faster every time, and one of the reasons I'm committed to running long-term is number 19,.

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Longevity Distance running or hiking or backpacking, is an activity that you can not only continue as you get older. You can actually get better at it as you get older. Let me tell you I am not getting faster in my 30s, but I last longer when I go for a run. In my 20s, the thought of doing a marathon was extremely intimidating, and now for me, it's not. As your body gets older, you may not have the speed that you had when you were younger, but you can have greater endurance, and that's awesome. This is an activity that you can continue for your whole life. Some of the higher intensity activities out there are not as gentle or suitable for older people, and running or walking is something you can not only do into older adulthood, it can also extend life as well, through all the different health benefits. And finally, number 20, the most profound part about running for me is that it becomes a way of life.

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Running is a metaphor. There are so many lessons that come from running Finish strong, don't give up. People say that sexual recovery is a marathon, not a sprint, and I believe they're right. I think that's one of the reasons why running a marathon, or even a half marathon or even a 5k, can give you so many benefits that I've just described, and more so. In summary, here are the 20 ways running or walking can revolutionize your sexual recovery Regulation, breathing, mindfulness, embodiment, bilateral stimulation, releasing energy, emotional processing, solitude and community experiences in nature, seeing beauty, adventure and novelty, sparking creativity, spiritual depth, better sleep, increased appetite, more self-confidence, endorphins and dopamine, delayed gratification, longevity and a way of life these are all the things I love about running.

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This is why it's my very favorite practice personally and why it's so helpful for outgrowing porn.

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Even if running is not your thing. To help you get outside and to help you get moving, I would like to invite you to join the Husband Material Running Club. This is open to members of the Husband Material community and all activities are welcome Running, walking, hiking, biking, swimming, skateboarding. Any of those activities can be recorded on the free app called Strava and if you would like to join this club, go down to a link in the show notes and if you're a member of the Husband Material community, then you will be approved. This is a way that we can cheer each other on, see our progress over time, celebrate each other and have more motivation to outgrow porn throughout running it. I'm so excited about this that I even wore my Colorado Springs Marathon shirt, got my Manitou Incline hat right here, my running gear to record this episode. Thanks for listening to this. I absolutely love this topic and would love to engage with any of you about it. Always remember you are God's beloved son and you he is well-pleased.