Exploring David's Story

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Welcome to the Husband Material podcast , where we help Christian men outgrow porn . Why ? So you can change your brain , heal your heart and save your relationship . My name is Drew Boa and I'm here to show you how let's go . As some of you may know , I have found my home in the Anglican worship tradition , so we will be incorporating a lot of that into today's service . Woo , yeah , it's a liturgical service , which means that it's participatory , so there will be parts where we will speak and act up front , parts where you will respond .

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Today we will be spending time with David , a character in the Bible who we know a lot about . We have his entire biography , we have his songs , we have his poems , we have his prayers , we have information about his childhood and his sexual brokenness , and today we will be looking at the many sides of David together . He's a multi-dimensional man . He has many parts , you might say , just like us . So my hope is that in looking at David's story , we will each see our story and see that there is space for our story in God's story , even the ugliest parts of our story , even the parts we wish were not there , even the parts we wish were not true , even the parts we regret , even the parts we hope we will never do again , even the parts that feel like they shouldn't be in the Bible are there . The parts that we feel like shouldn't be part of our lives are there . So , as we join David in his sexual story and in his prayers , we will be praying sections of Psalm 51 , which says that it is a Psalm of David .

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When the prophet Nathan came to him after David committed adultery with Bathsheba , he wrote these words in our responsive readings . So let's continue with a section of Psalm 51 . Oh Lord , open my lips and my mouth will declare your praise . You do not desire a sacrifice , or I'd offer one . You do not want to earn offering . The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit . You will not reject broken and repentant heart . Oh God .

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We're going to do a reading from 1 Samuel 11-1 through 12-25 , and it's in the New Living translation . Kings normally go out to war . David said Joab and the Israelite army to fight the Ammonites . They destroyed the Ammonite army and laid siege to the city of Rabba . However , david stayed behind in Jerusalem Late one afternoon .

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After his midday rest David got out of bed and was walking on the roof of the palace . As he looked out over the city he noticed a woman of unusual beauty taking a bath . He said someone to find out who she was and he was told she is Bathsheba , the daughter of Eliyam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite . Then David sent messengers to get her and when she came for the palace he slept with her . She had just completed the purification rites after having her menstrual period . Then she returned home .

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Later , when Bathsheba discovered that she was pregnant , he said David a message saying I'm pregnant . Then David sent word to Joab Send me Uriah the Hittite . So Joab sent him to David . When Uriah arrived , david asked him how Joab and the army were getting along and how the war was progressing . Then he told Uriah go home and bless . David even sent a gift to Uriah after he had left the palace , but Uriah didn't go home . He slept that night at the palace entrance with the king's palace guard . When David heard that Uriah had not gone home , he summoned him .

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What's the matter ? Why didn't you go home last night after being away for so long ?

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The Ark . The armies of Israel and Judah are living in tents , Joab and my master's men are camping at open fields . How could I go home and whine and dine and sleep with my wife when I swear I would never do such ?

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Stay here today . Tomorrow you may return to your .

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Ark . So Uriah stayed in Jerusalem that day and the next . Then David invited him to dinner and got him drunk . But even then he couldn't get Uriah to go to his wife Again . He slept at the palace entrance with the king's palace guard . So the next morning David wrote a letter to Joab and gave it to Uriah to deliver . The letter had instructions for Joab Station .

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Uriah on the front lines where the battle is the fiercest , then tool back so that he'd be killed .

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So Joab assigned Uriah to a spot close to the city wall where he knew the enemy's strongest men were fighting . And when the enemy soldiers came out of the city to fight , uriah the Hittite was killed along with several other Israelite soldiers . Then Joab prepared to send a battle report to David . He told his messenger report all the news , the battle , to the king . But he might get angry and ask why did the troops go so close to the city ? Didn't they know there would be shooting from the walls ? Wasn't a Vimalek , son of Gideon , killed at Thebes by a woman who threw the millstone down from the wall ? Then tell him Uriah the Hittite is also dead . So the messenger went to Jerusalem and gave a complete report to David .

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The enemy came out against us in the open field . As we chased some of them back to the city gate , the archers on the walls shot arrows at us . Some of the king's men were killed , including Uriah .

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So tell Joab not to be discouraged . The sword devours . This one today , that one tomorrow . Fight harder next time , all courtesy .

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When Uriah's wife heard that her husband was dead , she mourned for him . When the period of mourning was over , david sent for her and brought her to the palace and she became one of his wives . Then she gave birth to a son , but the Lord was displeased with what David had done . So the Lord sent Nathan , the prophet , to tell David a story . There were two men in a certain town . One was rich and one was poor . The rich man owned a great many flocks and herds . The poor man owned nothing but one little lamb that grew up with his children . It ate from the man's own plate , it drank from his cup and he cuddled it in his arms like a daughter . One day a guest arrived at the rich man's home , but instead of killing an animal from his own flock , he took the poor man's land . He killed it and prepared it for his guest .

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As surely as the Lord lives . Any man who would do such a thing deserves to die . He must repay the four lambs to the poor man for the one he stole and for having no pity .

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You are the Lord , god of Israel , says . I have today anointed you king over Israel and saved you from the power of Saul . I gave you your master's house and his wives and the kingdoms of Judah and Israel , and if that had not been enough , I would have given you much , much more . Why , then , have you despised the word of the Lord and done this horrible deed ? For you have murdered Raya the Hittite with the sword of the Ammonites and you have stolen his wife . From this time on , your family will live by the sword , because you have despised me by taking Raya's wife to be your own . This is what the Lord says , because what you have done , I will cause your own house to rebel against you . I will give your lives to another man before your very eyes , and he will go to bed with them in public view . Thank you , you did it secretly , but I will make this happen openly , before the sight of all Israel .

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I have sinned against the Lord .

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Yes , but the Lord has forgiven you and you won't die for this sin . Nevertheless , because you have showed utter contempt for the words of the Lord by doing this , your child will die . After Nathan returned to his home , the Lord sent a deadly illness to the child of David and Uriah's wife . David begged God to spare the child . He went without food , belay all night on the bare ground . The elders of his household pleaded with him to get up and eat with them , but he refused . Then , on the seventh day , the child died . His advisors were afraid to tell him .

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He wouldn't listen to reason when the child was ill . Drastic thing would do would find the child dead .

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When David saw them whispering , he realized what had happened .

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Child dead .

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Yes , child is dead . Then David got up from the ground , washed himself , put on lotions , changed his clothes , he went to the tabernacle and worshiped the Lord . After that he returned to the palace and was served food and ate . His advisors were amazed .

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We don't understand you when child was living you wet and refused to eat . But now that the child is dead , you've stopped mourning and you're eating again .

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I fasted and wet while the child was alive . Or I said perhaps a little will be gracious to me and let the child live . But why should I fast when he is dead ? Can I bring him back again ? I will go to him one day . He cannot return to me .

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Then David comforted Bathsheba , his wife , and slept with her . She became pregnant and gave birth to a son , and David named him Solomon . The Lord loved the child and said words through Nathan , the prophet , that they should name him Jedediah , which means beloved of the Lord , since that was what the Lord had commanded .

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Today we're talking about David . From childhood trauma to adultery and adulthood , he was a man of many parts . There was David the Shepherd , the songwriter , the dancer who took off all his clothes in front of everyone . The warrior who fought and won many battles . David is known to most of us as the king . He was a husband , he was a father and he had a covenant friendship with Jonathan . He was known as the man after God's own heart and in these ways he is a picture of masculinity . When you think about the king the warrior , you think about the songwriter , the creative , the commander . David seems like a very masculine man , someone to emulate . Yet there was also David the polygamist , who had many wives and concubines . David the runaway , who spent years and years in hiding . David the mercenary , who killed some of his own people while fighting for enemy forces while he was in exile . Yes , he was a warrior on both sides .

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David the sexual predator Sometimes we soften his sexual choices as a struggle with lust . Maybe he was addicted like me . In today's modern categories , it's probably more accurate to call David a sex offender who abused his power , who raped a woman . David the deceiver and manipulator who secretly ordered the death of her husband and , later in life , david , the passive parent whose own son raped his own daughter and he did nothing . I wonder why . I wonder if he saw some of himself in his son and finally , as an old man , david who died without seeing his greatest dreams come true . David who saw his children die . David who entrusted the next stage of God's story to others .

David

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So who was David ? Was he a hero ? Was he a villain ? Yes , he's like you and me . In him there is light and there is darkness . There is goodness and beauty and strength and there is immaturity and there is weakness and sexual brokenness and young parts of him that needed love . Just like us , some of us have a hard time seeing our own goodness because all we see is the shadow and the darkness , and we need husband material to show us the other side and to throw up a mirror and say there's a lot more to you than that . Some of us see no major problems within ourselves and we think we're pretty good and we need to be shown our darkness , like David , and we need God to come and compassionately confront us , because both our darkness and our light leads us to him and he will go to any length to get us back . David's name means beloved , and God loves David and God loves you .

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The client recently told me that he is discovering God loves all parts of me . God did not come to destroy my parts . He came to redeem my parts . That's what we see in this story because , as a result of this story , david and Bathsheba had a son , who had a son , who had a son , and eventually that son was Jesus Christ . So there are many parts of David , just like there are many parts of you and there are many parts of me . There's the drew who leads husband material . There's the drew who has fun . There's the drew who loves God , and there's the drew who's really insecure , and there's the drew who's afraid , and there's the drew who's ashamed , and there's the drew who does things that I really regret , and there's the drew who sometimes thinks really mean things about others or about myself , and there's the drew who has , like David , made some choices that have really hurt other people , even some of you , and there's the drew who has been hurt even by some of you . Let's make space for all of it within ourselves and within each other and get more curious and compassionate about the story behind our sexuality .

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Let's take a look at some of David's story . We only get a peek , but in the Bible that's a big deal . We don't usually see the backstory of many characters . We see Joseph , moses , jesus and we see David . Far before you ever saw Bathsheba , god saw David .

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In 1 Samuel 16, . God tells the prophet Samuel that he has rejected Saul as the king of Israel and instead has chosen someone else to be king , a boy , one of the sons of Jesse , in the little town of Bethlehem . So Samuel goes to Bethlehem and he invites Jesse and his sons to worship , as Jesse had seven of his sons passed before Samuel . But Samuel said to him the Lord has not chosen these . So he asks Jesse , are these all the sons you have ? There is still the youngest . Jesse answered he's tending the sheep . All the other boys were consecrated . All the other boys were invited , all the other boys were included and given a chance to be anointed , but not David . David stayed behind . He was left out . He was not even considered . He wasn't picked last , he wasn't picked at all .

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Have you ever felt that way , separated and excluded from being one of the guys ? Have you ever felt distant from all the other boys or from your siblings ? Have you ever felt like everyone else is on the inside and you're on the outside , and then you discover it's true . For some of us it's not true anymore , but it was true and it still feels true . Have you ever felt unchosen , ignored , invisible , overlooked , forgotten , missing out ? Maybe these are some of the messages that you have been releasing and letting go of this weekend . Well then , you can imagine how David felt , and my guess is this is not the only time . This is probably not the only time it happened .

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We hear about his oldest brother , who Samuel thought he must be the next king , probably attractive , probably strong , probably well-spoken , and , as we will discover , that brother was not very kind to David , and I think he grew up with this happening again and again , until Samuel took his flask of oil and anointed David , with his brother standing around and watching . Can you imagine that All of his brothers who rejected him , who forgot about him , who just looked down on him , they are watching . And then it says the spirit of God entered David like a rush of wind . One translation says God vitally empowering him for the rest of his life . I'm going to read that again the spirit of God entered David like a rush of wind , god vitally empowering him for the rest of his life . Did you know that God has chosen you and that his Holy Spirit lives in you when you are in Christ , vitally empowering you for the rest of your life ? Now , the sad truth is we don't always experience that and we don't always live in that reality , but it's still there , deep down , deep down . That power is still in you , even when you go far , far away from the one who has chosen you . He doesn't leave for the rest of your life , even if you try , he's still with you , just like David . What a reversal . The boy who was rejected is now chosen by God . So you are chosen , we are chosen , just like David . As an aside , if you really don't feel that sense of being chosen above others , I want to remind you that you are one in a million , because at least a million sperm were competing for the egg when you were conceived . Only one came into this world and that's you . God's imagination wanted you to be here . Even if you have felt unchosen your whole life , you're here . God has chosen you .

David's Journey of Redemption and Consequences

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One chapter later , in 1st Samuel 17 , something similar happens . David's brothers are off at war . Once again , david stays behind you get the sense that this probably happens a lot . And this time he has a job , not watching the sheep , but going back and forth bringing bread and cheese to his brothers . So he's their little servant now and of course , when he gets there he's asking how they're doing , just like he's supposed to . He's curious about the battle . He's asking questions to the soldiers , and when Eliob , david's oldest brother , the attractive , powerful , kingly type of one , heard him speaking with the men , he burned with anger at him and asked why have you come down here and with whom did you leave those sheep in the wilderness ? I know how conceited you are and how wicked your heart is . You came down only to watch the battle .

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David says now , what have I done ? Can't I even speak ? Have you ever been bullied ? I think David's older brother is a bully . Have you ever been humiliated in front of everyone , people that you were just getting to know and hoped you could connect with ? Then you can imagine how David must have felt . In his response I hear frustration like can't I even speak Now ? What have I done ? Everything has blamed on me ? Oh my gosh , I freaking resonate with that . Maybe he felt powerless . I think he felt anger . Well , you know what he does next . He doesn't quietly submit he could have done that , he could have blended into the background .

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David gets feisty , he talks back to his brother , so feisty that he boldly takes on the biggest bully of all , goliath the Giant . And we hear that David is concerned for God's reputation and he doesn't want anybody talking bad about his God , who's powerful , and he's gonna show them that God is real and Goliath has nothing on God . I think he also was looking sideways at his brothers and wanting to prove himself . You know , because they're watching and here's all the soldiers and he just got put down . And then he gets put down by Saul . Saul replies you're not able to go out against this Philistine and fight him . You're only a young man and he has been a warrior from his youth . It's actually very true and kind of Saul in that moment , once again , when everyone else is doubting him and no one believes in him , god is the exact opposite . God empowers David , god fights for David , god comes in and guides the stone in his sling to hit the Giant on the forehead . David kills Goliath with all his brothers watching again Again .

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This is like a pattern here and I wonder how he must have felt probably pretty good about himself again and maybe thought he was gonna be crowned King sooner . But for the next 10 years Saul messed everything up and he actually didn't become a King until his 30s . So now David has to deal with a lot of delays that were out of his control and maybe he's even questioning was I really chosen ? Is this really my calling ? Do I even still have the Holy Spirit ? Cause nothing is going right now . So he's had these powerful redemptive experiences , and then it's followed up by a lot of hard difficulties and challenges for years . Maybe some of you can resonate with that . Maybe some of you have had really wonderful experiences and you have overcome some big giants and then somebody who you thought was supposed to be supporting you betrays you . So I hope you're beginning to resonate with David a little bit , and maybe not with everything , but with some things .

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So then , in the end of this part of our story , in the spring , at the time when the Kings go off to war , david sent Joe about what the Kings men and the whole Israeli army , but David stayed in Jerusalem . He stayed behind from the battle . Again , everyone else went without him . This time it's different , though , cause . He wasn't forced . He chose to stay behind . His dad didn't tell him to stay behind . No one told him to stay behind . He chose to stay behind .

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I wonder what was going on in his heart . I wonder if he was tired of running and being on the road and tired of fighting and tired of a lot of things . Maybe he felt entitled . Maybe he thought I've been dealing with this for so long , I deserve a break . I'm just going to go out on the top of my palace , it says .

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One evening he got up from his bed , walked around on the roof of the palace and from the roof he saw a woman bathing . That woman was very beautiful . So picture David on the roof overlooking the city . He sees this naked woman . It actually reminds me of the temptation of Jesus . When Satan took Jesus up to a high place looking over all the kingdoms of the world , he says all of this can be yours If you'll just worship me .

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I imagine David giving in to that temptation , believing that , hey , all of this is mine . You know , little David was unchosen , but now King David can have anyone he chooses . Little David was rejected , but now no one can say no to King David . His servants do exactly what he wants . Little David was bullied , but now King David is powerful . Maybe . Maybe he's thinking to himself I can have whoever I want now , nobody can stop me , nobody can reject me . If I want Bathsheba , bathsheba is mine . It's like a little boy's dream come true .

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I don't say that to excuse David , because his past is not an excuse for his choices at all . In fact , what he did was not just sinful , it was evil , and when he got that temptation I bet it was straight from Satan and that he made an agreement in that moment and that he had an alliance with evil . Evil . It was more than lust , it was abuse , it was rape , and David's heart appears to be quite hardened at this point because he not only rapes Bathsheba , he kills her husband and he goes on as if everything's fine . You might even say this is an example of deceptive sexuality . He has this secret sexual basement and he has become a sex offender , while everyone else views him as the successful king and leader .

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So how do you imagine God feels about this ? If you picture God looking at David , knowing his whole story , his beauty and his brokenness , what expression is on God's face when he looks at David ? I want to read directly from the text . Second Samuel 11 , verse 27, . The thing David had done displeased the Lord . In other words , god did not love what David did . God loved David . God does not love what we do when we hurt other people , when we harm ourselves and others with our sexual choices . God does not love that , but he loves you . It doesn't say he was displeased with David . It's that he was displeased with what David did . There's an amazing gospel truth that our sins there are many , but his mercy is more so . When God responds to David , I imagine him looking at his son with desire , with delight and also with a lot of grief . How does the Lord break through to this man's callous heart ? How does he show David , in his darkness , the truth in a way that he will actually receive it ? You know , god is amazingly creative at how he gets our attention and sometimes it's in the most painful way . Yet with David he's so gentle and tender .

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Do you remember that story that the prophet Nathan told him about the little lamb ? The little lamb that a poor shepherd loved so much that they ate from the same plate ? Kind of gross , they drank from the same cup . Okay , he loves the sheep a little too much has a relationship with this little lamb in the story , but I bet David resonated with that because he could still remember when he was a little boy , out in the field with those sheep and he remembered how much he loved them and how much he cared for them and he spent every day with them and they were there for him when no one else was . God got through to his heart with a story about a little lamb .

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David says this man deserves death . Whoever did that ? And then the prophet says you are the man . You have done the thing that you judge . And in this moment David realizes his sin in the most precious way , god bringing him back to the little boy out in the field in a way that he can receive it . It's like God speaking to the boy , telling him that story with the same tenderness and protection of a shepherd , because God views David as that little lamb . But that lamb grew up into a wolf and he needs to be turned back into who he truly is . And it is incredibly horrific how that happens and yet it is incredibly healing at the same time .

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Nathan says David , the Lord has taken away your sin . You are not going to die . A note to those of you who are still actively struggling with sexually acting out and harming yourself and others . The Lord has taken away your sin . You are not going to die . David pronounced his own condemnation when he said this man deserves to die . And God says no , there is no condemnation . And there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus . There is acceptance and affection and appreciation and affirmation and embrace . There is a place for you to come , to be included , to be welcomed , with no conditions . The Lord has taken away your sin . He's taken it far , far away . Yet we keep trying to go back to it and find it again , and when we do , the Lord has still taken away your sin and you are not going to die . There is grace , and when we take advantage of that grace and misuse it , there is more grace . His grace is disruptive . It confronts our self-contempt with kindness and compassion and appropriate consequences . Nathan , the prophet , says the Lord has removed your sin . You're not going to die , but because by doing this you have shown utter contempt for the Lord , the Son born to you will die .

God's Love and Redemption Through Heartbreak

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This is not a fairy tale . This is fucking real . I know what it's like to have my son born and die shortly afterwards . And when I read that , my gut response is that's not who God is . God doesn't kill kids for somebody else's sin . And yet I am confronted with a deeper truth here that kids do die , that there are horrible consequences for this sin and evil and brokenness in this world , and in even this part of the story that I wish wasn't in there , there's still a really important truth for us , especially to survivors of abuse or children of abusers God does not take it lightly . He is not just going to let things slide . He is not the passive parent . He takes this very seriously Because he not only loves David , he loves Bathsheba , and I have no idea what Bathsheba's spiritual journey was with all of this being married to the man who did all of this and having another child with him . Wouldn't that be fascinating to hear ? I really don't know what God was doing in this whole thing .

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Jesus is really really clear that people don't always get their suffering as a result of sin . There was a man who was born blind and they ask is it his sin , the result of his parents ? And he says no . Yet in this story it's very clear that the child dies because of his father's sin . So that makes me wonder if maybe there was something more going on here . Later on we get a hint that this child will come back to life . David said one day I will go to him , but he will not return to me . So there's just a little hint of resurrection .

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We also get a hint of resurrection in Job . When Job loses all of his belongings , he gets double of everything . When he gets kids again , he doesn't get double the kids , he only gets one set , as if the other set was not all gone . There are these little hints of resurrected children one day in the Old Testament . This is one of those and it's awesome . So I think there's a beauty . That's not the end of the story there for this child who died , just like it's not the end of the story for my child who died After the same time . I see God , maybe showing us a picture of the Gospel .

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God allowed the son of David to die instead of David .

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In the same way , god allowed another son of David to die for us , an innocent lamb , the Lamb of God . Isn't that something you know ? In Jesus Christ we have a substitute . Just like David , we deserve to die and yet we've been given life . God has taken away our condemnation . He doesn't take away all the consequences , and the greatest consequences have already been taken by Jesus . He has defeated the greater Goliath of sin and evil and death on our behalf . He is the chosen one and the Spirit of God came down to rest on him and he has fought all of our battles and he has taken his place as our resurrected King . He is the true David and he is the true son of David . God allowed your riot to die as an innocent lamb . God allowed David's son to die as an innocent lamb . Many years later , jesus Christ died , an innocent lamb For you and me . He was left out so we would be brought in . He was rejected so we would be accepted . He was humiliated so we would be honored . He was deprived , so we would be delighted .

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Isn't that ?

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awesome . What if , somehow , even the most heartbreaking consequences of our sexual choices will be reversed and redeemed ? What if everything sad is coming untrue ? There's a lot of heartbreak and heartache in this story . There's a lot of healing and hope .

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The story ends with David grieving his son . When David realized his darkness , he went into a deep grief , and that's what some of us are doing this weekend . In the end , it led him to joy , even though there were so many consequences . Still , that came after the story ends , when David comforted his wife , bathsheba . He went to her and made love to her . She gave birth to a son and they named him Solomon . The Lord loved him and because the Lord loved him , he sent word through Nathan , the prophet , to name him Jedediah . Solomon was also named Jedediah . I didn't know that . You know what Jedediah means Loved by the Lord .

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Somehow , through this entire wreckage and redemption , david decides to give his son the identity loved by the Lord . No matter what you've done , you are loved by the Lord . No matter what's been done to you , you are loved by the Lord . Who was David ? He's loved by the Lord . Who are you ? You're loved by the Lord . Who are we , with all of our various broken parts that we wish could be removed from the story . We are loved by the Lord . God loves all parts of you and me . He did not come to destroy them , but to redeem them and to welcome us back , because you are God's beloved son and you , he is well pleased . Amen .

Confession, Prayer, and Peace in Worship

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Let's take a moment to sit or kneel and confess our sin . As you will find in the bulletin , we're going to pray David's prayer from Psalm 51 . All of our voices saying have mercy on me , o God , because of your unfailing love , because of your great compassion , blot out the stain of my sins . Wash me clean from my guilt . Purify me from my sin , for I recognize my rebellion . It haunts me day and night . Against you and you alone have I sinned . I have done what is evil in your sight . Purify me from my sins and I will be clean . Wash me and I will be whiter than snow . Oh , give me back my joy again . You have broken me . Now let me rejoice . Create in me a clean heart , o God , renew a loyal spirit within me . Do not banish me from your presence and don't take your Holy Spirit from me . Restore to me the joy of your salvation and make me willing to obey you . Now let's stand up and receive the truth and the version of the Gospel that David wrote in Psalm 103 . I'll read the first line . You read the second line .

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The Lord is compassionate and gracious , slow to anger and filled with unfailing love . He does not punish us for all our sins . He does not deal harshly with us as we deserve , for as high as the heavens are above the earth , so great is his love for those who fear him . He has removed Our sins from us as far as the east is from the west . The Lord is like a father to his children , tender and compassionate to those who fear him , for he knows how weak we are . He remembers we are only dust . The Lord crowns us with love and compassion . He satisfies our desires . Good things , isn't that good ? He satisfies our desires in a way that our sexual urges , attractions and behaviors never can . He satisfies our desires with good things , and he does that so often through one another . So let's pass the peace to each other . This is hug time . It'll go on for as long as it needs to . May the peace of Christ be with you . Let's pass the peace to one another .